I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
