Small penises have feelings too.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize