do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
