Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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