i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
