also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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