I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
