the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
