Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The air was thick with penises
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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