you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
