Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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