that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
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We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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