went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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