North Korea, Best Korea!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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