a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
