Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
