dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
