Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
