nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
