she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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