actually, I'm a sock model
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
