Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
