do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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