Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
