this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
