I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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