ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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