google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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