I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
