I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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