Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
