I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize