I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
