you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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