Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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