she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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