but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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