Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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  (631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd
  Replies (244) Good night (1024) Bad night (3819)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.

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  (715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower. http://tfl.nu/u1zb
  Replies (22) Good night (7931) Bad night (1274)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.

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  (636): I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend. http://tfl.nu/x4zz
  Replies (14) Good night (6447) Bad night (945)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"

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  (239): I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself" http://tfl.nu/9vkt
  Replies (6) Good night (2297) Bad night (1191)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys

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  (318): You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys http://tfl.nu/kc5i
  Replies (7) Good night (2373) Bad night (885)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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  (217): This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates. http://tfl.nu/zki5
  Replies (2) Good night (2318) Bad night (1996)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2352) Bad night (780)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

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  (774): I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard. http://tfl.nu/r66v
  Replies (7) Good night (2088) Bad night (850)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.

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  (319): You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar. http://tfl.nu/ei6k
  Replies (2) Good night (1429) Bad night (788)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.

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  (817): Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry. http://tfl.nu/qgh9
  Replies (12) Good night (2152) Bad night (447)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...

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  (507): I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though... http://tfl.nu/ukj5
  Replies (5) Good night (1240) Bad night (381)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"

  (425): View more from Washington

  I want to be you.

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  (360): I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze" (425): I want to be you. http://tfl.nu/ldeq
  Replies (6) Good night (2353) Bad night (570)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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  (224): I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store. http://tfl.nu/th0h
  Replies (57) Good night (1472) Bad night (2515)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

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  (612): If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home. http://tfl.nu/rwle
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (254)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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  (541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (377)

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