Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.

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  (859): I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum. http://tfl.nu/asaw
  Replies (36) Good night (2796) Bad night (722)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.

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  (208): She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again. http://tfl.nu/3vjv
  Replies (15) Good night (1027) Bad night (5652)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.

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  (702): sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/022f
  Replies (14) Good night (917) Bad night (4417)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4774) Bad night (1306)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too

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  (402): He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too http://tfl.nu/2c7f
  Replies (9) Good night (4362) Bad night (1058)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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  (617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d
  Replies (3) Good night (1596) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!

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  (580): I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever! http://tfl.nu/u7rz
  Replies (6) Good night (3394) Bad night (652)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.

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  (907): If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever. http://tfl.nu/sogf
  Replies (29) Good night (1227) Bad night (3894)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.

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  (517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener. http://tfl.nu/k1i6
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (685)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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  (843): woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed. http://tfl.nu/bkzs
  Replies (8) Good night (996) Bad night (583)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....

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  (318): Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going.... http://tfl.nu/9yl4
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (1534)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.

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  (920): But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/588y
  Replies (6) Good night (1299) Bad night (437)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.

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  (850): I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl. http://tfl.nu/bohf
  Replies (7) Good night (1186) Bad night (412)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (393)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so

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  (816): Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so http://tfl.nu/0hmc
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (238)

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