dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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