Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line