He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.