6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought