Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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