i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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