Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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