mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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