where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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