She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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