I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize