I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
