I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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