I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
