this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
