No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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