im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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