it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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