whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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