She said her name was "party"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
