I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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