your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
her vagine was all disorganized.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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