You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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