Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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