Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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